I don’t know how to trust people, I have a crippling lack of self worth, the most played feeling on my emotions playlist is abandonment, I don’t know what it feels like to not get rejected, I have anxiety about stupid things like which door to use on buildings with more than one door, or ordering food, or making a phone call, I get easily attached to men. Right now it’s really hard to focus on all the good parts of my life because of being alone so much. I get up in the afternoon, shower, eat and that’s my day. Sometimes I go to sleep before morning, but that’s usually only when I work the next day. I am currently recovering from one of the most painful heartbreaks Ii have been through. I’m so worried that I’m going to spiral down to where I was two years ago; fat, sick, and ready to die. I don’t post on here a lot. Ever. But I need a way to let this out. I am a very intense person, I put off an image of a strong, happy, independent person. However, on the inside I’m just a scared little girl with a horrible fear of losing everyone that matters. I love the outdoors, I don’t have a prejudice atom or anything in my body or soul, I am a musician. My mother is one of my best friends. This is not a cry for help; it is simply a release method for me because I have nobody right now who really cares to listen. My listener/confidant/bodyguard at school/comic relief is currently impossible to reach and I will probably barely see him for the rest of my life.
Dallas Green knows.